Joke jokes
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
Dark jokes are like food, not everybody gets it.
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
I wanna ram your PCIe slot.
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.