Joke jokes
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
Why wasn’t the frog 🐸 crying?
Because he was hoppy.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
What did the rock say to the flower?
Rocks can't talk. -.-
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball, Laquon Treadwell!
Why does an orphan not play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is a good night's sleep?
I haven't a clue!