Joke

Joke jokes

Friend

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

EpiPen

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

Difference

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

One does not crow when you put it in an oven.

Squirrel

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!

Lightbulb

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?

Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.

Mouse

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Chicken

What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.

Baby

Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

Death

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.

Mind

Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.

Butter

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.