Joke jokes
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
One day I had the munchies, so I ate a clock. It was very... time consuming.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.