Joke jokes
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
My "friend" has dyslexia.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.
Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.