Joke jokes
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What was I saying again?
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
You want a pizza from me!!!!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!