Joke jokes
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?
The maternity ward.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Why was 911 annoyed at the pizza guy?
Because they ordered meat lovers, but they got plane.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!