Joke jokes
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the circus fire?
Person 2: No.
Person 1: It was in-tents.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.