What is a pedophiles favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
Sixty years ago Stephen Hawkings teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams kids reach for the stars.
What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker
If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What’s the same with a toilet and anal sex. Your ass gets numb after a while
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
We’re skipping April fools day this year, the biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis
What’s the difference between a orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
Dead people jokes are the best there ground breaking.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?" One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy." A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!" "Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
To all you who can't understand using jokes as coping mechanism... you know what i will ask of you:)
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why.....he said so I could be extinct😭😭
