Joke jokes
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
I like trains.
*train hits him*
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?
Q) What is the ONLY zodiac sign ever to be surgically removed?
A) Cancer.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.