Joke jokes
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What do you call a black person?
Dark humor.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Eggs
You crack me up!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
Why wasn’t the duck afraid to cross the road? Because he wasn’t chicken!
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.