Joke jokes
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.
I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
What do you call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
Me. I am the worst joke ever.
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"