Joke jokes
If Tim goes to heaven and Tom goes to hell, where does Tam go?
Up your ass.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
Me. I am the worst joke ever.
Kian. Legit, Kian is a joke.
What’s the difference between Apple and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Eggs
You crack me up!
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.