Joke jokes
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.
Hey, I have a joke!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!
Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?
Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?
P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?
I don't know, you tell me.
If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
What did the doctor say to the orphan?
"I can't help you with cancer, I'm a family doctor!"
What is a group of emo kids called?
A suicide squad.
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.