Joke jokes
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Hi Andrew, this is Nick.
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot is real.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.