Joke jokes
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
Why couldn't Bob hang himself?
Because he had no arms to tie a knot. :'-)
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!