Joke jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?

One has a home.

What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.

What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?

Did you hear about the Chinese student?

Me neither.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.

I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"

Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

Hey, I have a joke!

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

I just wanted to write something random.

And now my wife is dead.

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.

What do you call an abo with a shotgun?

Sir.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.

(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!

(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*

(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*

At this moment, he knew he fucked up.

(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta-way.

Me: punching a kid.

My FBI agent: You're adopted.