Joke jokes
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.