Joke jokes
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)