Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Never lands.
Joke Jokes
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
