Joke jokes
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Imagine there’s a funny joke here. Imagine it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you’re schizophrenic.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Hi Andrew, this is Nick.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.