Joke jokes
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.