Joke

Joke jokes

Car

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.

Blonde

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.

Bat

Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...

Bear

Why didn't the bear leave home?

He could not bear leaving his family.

Baby

What is the difference between onions and babies?

I cry when I cut onions.

Baby

Why did the baby cross the road?

Because it was stapled to a chicken.

Cow

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Cow says,

"Cow says who?"

No! Cow says moo!

Hand

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"

Heaven

You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?

Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.

Glue

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"