Joke jokes
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
I like my women like my family, theyâre related.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, âHey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.â
Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and thatâs saying something.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
This isnât much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Whatâs long, green, and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frogâs fingers.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
Not funny joke.
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. Itâs honestly just nasty.
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.