Joke jokes
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
What number is better than 69?
88 'cause you get ate twice.
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.
Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”
Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What’s a nun's weapon of choice?
Nun-chucks.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
Social distancing.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.
Johnny: What?
Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?
Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!
Ex: Awhh!
Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.