Joke jokes
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
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Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.