A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Joke Jokes
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
Nothing, she was hung over.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
