Joke

Joke jokes

Impairment

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

Cap

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

Cow

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

Abortion

Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.

Kid

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

Orphan

Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.

Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!

Lie

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

House

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Fuel

Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?