Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
Joke Jokes
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What comes after 69?
Period.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Don't click the link.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
