Joke jokes
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?
The Doughker.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.