Joke jokes
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Idk.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Your mom.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
For fingering the minor.
I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.