Joke jokes
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
It's not a joke.
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.