Joke jokes
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why is 10 scared?
Because it is in the huddle of 9/11.
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Time flies by, doesn’t it?
But the plane in 9/11 didn’t.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.
(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.