Joke jokes
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"