Joke jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.