Joke jokes
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?
You can roast chicken.
AB💿
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
Innit.
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
You look pretty today... April Fools!
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.