Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
Joke Jokes
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
