Joke jokes

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Turns out Christopher was adopted.

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

Girl: I've been an orphan since I was three.

Boy: Knock knock.

Girl: ...Who's there?

Boy: Not your parents!

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

Silicon Valley.