Joke jokes
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.