Joke jokes
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
A horse walks into a bar.
Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?
A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.