dark humor is like parents not everybody gets it
Sign on my attorney's office wall: "You can't have manslaughter without laughter."
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a pinata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said that you would never forget
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing let them wait for their parents.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Girl: I've been a orphan since I was three.
Boy: knock knock.
Girl: ..Who's there?
Boy: not your parents!
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.
( just a joke) my grandfather was involved in 9/11 😞. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
Yesterday, a guy threw a litre of milk at me.
How dairy!
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
“what’s that on your wrist?” “im a cutting board. duh”
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
