Joke jokes

How do you know when Helen Keller is home?

Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.

Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer.

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.

(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)

What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?

The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.

When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.