Joke jokes

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?

At least Hitler actually did something.

What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?

Rrrrrapeit!

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

What do you call an emo filming their suicide?

America's Funniest Home Videos.

Two men walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would've seen it.

A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

What planet did Hitler hate the most?

Jewpiter.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.

What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?

SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.

I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...

she died the next morning.

I don't like making jokes about 9/11... they tend to crash and burn.

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?

"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"

What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.