Joke

Joke jokes

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

Space

What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

Hitler

What's the difference between you and Hitler?

Hitler knew when to kill himself.

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  • Man

    A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

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  • Robot

    You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

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  • Memes

    Vampire

    A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

    The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

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  • Hipster

    How did the hipster burn his tongue?

    He drank his coffee before it was cool.

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  • Chuck Norris

    There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

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  • Robot

    What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.

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  • Infidelity

    A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."

    9/11

    You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.

    Language

    What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

    Baby

    How did the dead baby cross the road?

    It was strapped to the chicken.

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