Joke jokes
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong telephone.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.