Joke jokes
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.
Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!