Joke

Joke jokes

Shit

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

Lettuce

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

Cow

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

Skeleton

How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?

If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.

Orphan

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

House

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

Fish

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

Bone

Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?

A: Because they are humerus.

Guy

Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.

He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"

Door

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!

Orange

What is the healthiest fruit?

An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!

Woman

What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?

A belly button.