Joke

Joke jokes

Wife

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

Dementia

What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?

I don't know. I forgot.

Steak

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

Emo

What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?

America’s Funniest Home Videos.

(lol)

Emo

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

Word

What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?

“Is It In?”

Orphan

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Fish

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

Baby

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

It was strapped to the chicken.

Blonde

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.

Dinner

I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."