Joke jokes

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?

A. I have too many problems.

What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?

... A quarter pounder with cheese.

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"

What is the definition of a woman?

A life support system for a vagina.

I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?

"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?

What did the Asian say to the Asian?

*Cough*