Joke jokes
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!