Joke jokes
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Me: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Me: No-one.
Person: No-one who?
Me:...........
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.
PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to Birds Eye.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
So, no head?
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"