What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Joke Jokes
Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender ;)
You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?
... A quarter pounder with cheese.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
