Joke jokes

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because someone booted her in the face. 🤣🤣

Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.

I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.

What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?

A baby in a blender ;)

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?

A. I have too many problems.

What do you call an anorexic blond with a yeast infection?

... A quarter pounder with cheese.

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

What is the definition of a woman?

A life support system for a vagina.