What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
Joke Jokes
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.
Man: Ouch!
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?
The tree leaves him hanging :)
Your hairline is like Quandel Dingle, it's so goofy!
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
I told Siri about my dog, and she told me if she could tell me a joke to cheer me up, and I said okay.
She asked me, "Knock knock." I said, "Who is there?" She said, "Not your dog."
What do cannibals eat to freshen their teeth?
Mentos.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
What do you call a German that can't see? A Notsee.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food?
Runner beans.
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
