Joke

Joke jokes

Guy

What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?

Panera Fred.

Uniform

I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀

Emo

What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.

Insult

Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.

Me: And I don't speak idiot language.

Mama

Yo mama so old.

Her first Christmas... was the first Christmas!

Husband

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Guy

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.

Friend

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

Teacher

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

Fly

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.

Kid

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Orphan

Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?

So he could be called Father Les.

Tree

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)