Joke jokes
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
I once saw a noose joke.
I wanna know how to make one :D
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
No one ever forgets it! <3