Joke jokes
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
Funny.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Doctor Who."
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.