Joke jokes
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
Those are all the same.
(All the jokes above.)
What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?
A jump rope!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.