Joke jokes
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Q: What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A: A bus full of children.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.