Joke

Joke jokes

Wife

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

Phone

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Girl

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

Father

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Topic

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Office

A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.

A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"

Maze

Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?

He got corn-ered!

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road? They thought they saw their mother.

Family

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."