Joke

Joke jokes

Death

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Fish

Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Answer: Dam.

Orphan

Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?

Because everyone says go big or go home!

Mother

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

Baby

Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.

Hitler

Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?

Cucumber

What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?

You need more dressing.

Mom

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

Time

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

Cop

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.