Joke jokes
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
Here is a joke: Rape.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.