Joke jokes
Here is a joke: Rape.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
C'mon guys, 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.