Joke jokes
Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
I was going to tell a dead baby joke...
I decided to abort.
Gay jokes are not funny, CUM on guys!
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
What do you call a psychic dwarf on the run? A small medium at large.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Cunt.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.