Joke jokes
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"