Joke jokes
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.