Joke Jokes

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

Why do pizzas not tell jokes?

They're too cheesy.

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!

What's black and white and red all over?

A police brutality case.

Well, being an American is just a joke itself.

Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.

What does a broken down vegetable say?

I need new wheels.

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

There's 3 things I hate.

1. Jokes

2. Lists

3. Irony.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Well, neither did she!

Joke: Why did the gym close down?

– It just didn’t work out.

What kind of sex do priests love?.

Nun.

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

(Just a joke, no offense.)

What did the 0 say to the 8?

"Nice belt."

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...