Joke jokes
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?
BONE-Appetit!
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."