Joke jokes
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"