Joke jokes
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb đ
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
What has eight legs and doesnât rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
Whatâs the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I donât like the taste of broccoli.
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
Whatâs the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."