Joke jokes
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
My friend said, "Why do you have depression? There is so much happiness in the world." And I said, "Why do you have asthma? There is so much air in the world."
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Why did the depressed kid jump off the bike? It was free depressed day.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
Me: Are you okay?
Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.