Joke jokes
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
what do you call an emo person who's not depressed?
dead.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"