Joke jokes
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
They had better reflexes than the trading center.
What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?
"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡