Joke

Joke jokes

Burrito

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Dog

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

People

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Bone

Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"

Because he needs to pick your balls.

Penaldo

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

Orphan

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

Emo

An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

Hamster

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Boob

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.