Joke jokes
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What did the person say to the orphan?
"Where are your parents?"
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?