"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
Joke Jokes
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
