Joke jokes
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.