Joke jokes
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
I nutted on the wall, call that a walnut.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Memes
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Why is Sam Ryan a redditor? Because he is.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.