Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Q:Do you know why people dont like abortion jokes? A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptyness inside.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free
My friend; you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs
What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
I don't like the word gun
Whenever I say it people always get triggered
Lol. It was just a prank bro.
Whats the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says.. cock a doodle doo The prostitute says.. any cock will do
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair? You turn it upside down
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
What do you call Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
