Joke jokes

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

'PNEIS'

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.

Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.

What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.

He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.

What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

Lol. It was just a prank, bro.

I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?

You turn it upside down.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

What do you call an Asian who can't hear?

Wha U Sai

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*