Joke

Joke jokes

Orphan

Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.

  • 4
  • Comedian

    A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

    The room was full of arm amputees.

  • 4
  • Adolf Hitler

    I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.

    He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.

    Memes

    Comic

    Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…

    A three-panel comic strip from the Joking Hazard Random Comic Generator. The first panel shows two figures. One says, "My wife just died." The second panel shows the same two figures now smiling at each other. The third panel shows one of them saying, "HELL YEAH!" The comic generator website is titled "RANDOM COMIC GENERATOR 3.0" with the description "Millions of combinations! Create and share your own!".

    School

    What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

    When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

    Gun

    I don't like the word "gun".

    Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

    Difference

    What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

    The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

    Priest

    Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

    Orphan

    Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

  • 4
  • Suicide

    Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

    Coming out

    A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

    Arrest

    I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

  • 3
  • People

    Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

    A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

  • 2
  • Chair

    How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?

    You turn it upside down.

    Depression

    Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

    Person B: Over my dead body.

    Person B: *gets the noose*