Joke jokes
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Lol. It was just a prank, bro.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.